A beginners guide to sex toys
If you need (or want) a lot of stimulation to get off, a great wand is your best bet, whether it’s rechargeable or plugs into the wall. Bianca Alba, MPH, is a nonbinary sexual-health educator, consultant, and journalist based in Chicago. Bianca was formerly managing editor of a Kinsey Institute blog and has presented academic research on transgender-youth health advocacy, using sex toys as therapeutic tools in clinical practice, and menstrual biohacking. She/they are passionate about normalizing healthy discussions of sexuality in everyday life. The Evolved Tongue Tied is our favorite of the “tongue” vibrators we’ve tested. While they’re not as pinpointed as those from the Lelo Dot, we did find that this vibrator’s flickering tongue (measuring about 1 inch long and 0.25 inches wide at the tip) offers powerful, focused sensations.
Designed to be worn between your fingers, the Fin is an easy-to-grasp sex toy that can stay discreet during sex, Lisa Finn, sex educator with sex toy store Babeland, tells SELF. “You don’t have to worry about it slipping from your hands as you play, which is great for mobility and accessibility as well as keeping it from being obstructive or in the way,” they say. It’s also water-resistant, USB-rechargeable, and has three low-intensity settings that you can explore by pressing its only button.
Even if you don’t struggle to have an orgasm, but just want more data on the ones you have, this is your best bet. Of course, you’ll have to be OK with using a vibrator that collects anonymous data about you. With five speed settings and seven vibration pattern options, it’ll work for most people’s stimulation preferences. The soft-touch silicone and jewel-toned color makes it look far more sophisticated than many inexpensive plastic vibrators out there. For obvious reasons, finding an appropriate and enjoyable toy for that period just after you’ve had a baby can be challenging.
That’s the basis of We-Vibe’s Verge, which can be worn during physical vaginal sex to add extra stimulation to penetration for those with a vagina. Testers indicated that this tight fit (which may be too tight if you’re already aroused!) ensures you’ll feel every buzz and vibration along the ridge of the scrotum. These days, most sex toys are USB rechargeable, but battery-powered toys do still exist so it’s worth checking before you make a purchase.
Our panel loved the remote control that comes with this vibrating egg, giving your partner the chance to join in on the fun and adjust the settings. It even comes with an intelligent mode that imitates sex from foreplay to orgasm, so you don’t have to worry about changing the settings at all. Overall, it was a strong performer, with the majority of our the testers achieving a more intense orgasm. This Lovehoney rabbit can be set to your desired temperature between degrees, which our testers thought was a fun, unique feature.
The sex tech industry has conditioned us to think of toys in terms of male and female, penis and vagina, but that’s reductive and inaccurate, contributing to a larger narrative about the relationship between genitals and gender. We opt to be as specific as possible and use anatomical terms to describe individual erogenous zones—and there are way more than just P and V. This step is optional, but lubricant can be helpful to reduce the friction that might cause discomfort. It’s important to note that the kind of lube you use depends on the material of your vibrator. For example, if the vibrator is made of silicone, a water-based lube will help preserve the material and avoid damaging it.
Balestrieri says those just starting to find their vibe might want to start with a wand because of its wider, rounded top. “It allows for more different types of stimulation than perhaps some of the smaller vibrators,” she says. She likes Bed Geek’s wand massager because of its compact size (which makes it easier to store in your home than other wands) and numerous settings “that make for a really nice entry into the wand world.”
Although we recommend this model as a starter vibrator, for some of our testers the hard plastic became slippery and difficult to hold when it came in contact with lubricant. This was not the case with the less expensive Satisfyer Purple Pleasure. While the Luna Ava vibrator is a steal at $30, don’t expect it to replace your Magic Wand anytime soon. We found its vibrations to be more buzzy than rumbly vibrator , and the 20 different settings are a nuisance given that there is no back-or-forth button—you have to click through all 20 to return to the one you started with. Waterproof toys made from nonporous materials such as silicone and stainless steel can tolerate washing with soap and warm water. If you have non-waterproof toys, carefully wipe them clean with a solution of soap and warm water.